What is wrong with being average? When did being exceptional become normal, average slow and slow a handicap?
I am talking about with babies, toddlers and children. My whole life I have struggled with comparing myself to others. Of course this has led to much unhappiness and dissatisfaction with myself. As a mother this has carried over. I am so glad that I am aware of it now. I can stop myself before it becomes evident to Lizzie or David - I would not want them to think they are not good enough for me!
But what I don't get is how come it is wonderful if you potty train your child at 1 year and almost shameful if they are still in diapers at 3? Why is it that parents almost brag with pride at the early accomplishments - weaning, sleeping, talking, potty training - leaving those with average developments to feel inadequate?
Lizzie has always been right on target for her developments and I have never been able to speed her up one iota. She didn't eat solids until she was 1 year old. She didn't talk until she was 18 months old (and that was only 1 word at a time, very slowly). She didn't wean until she was 2 years old. Now she has been 2 for 2 months and she is not potty training very well. She still sleeps with her mommy and daddy. Her vocabulary is normal but not exceptional.
And I don't beam with pride? Why not?
Because my mother has brought up "concerns" about Lizzie's "slow" development and those awful seeds of doubt began to sprout...despite my best efforts to squash them.
I am so glad I am catching this "comparing virus" before it spreads to discontent! How nasty!
I love my precious daughter so much. She is so loving, cuddly and joyful. She loves walks outside, swinging, singing and jumping on the bed. We can snuggle together with a dozen good books and read to our hearts content. She is such a big helper with the laundry, dishes, bathing little brother and cooking dinner (not around the hot stove though lol)
And not a few photos of the lights of my life, my wonderful girl and her little brother:
2 comments:
Annie -
I wouldn't be concerned, if her ped isn't concerned. Obviously, some kids do have some developmental delays - that's the reason for the guidelines - to catch problems early on, when intervention is the most effective. That being said, I don't think Lizzie is behind. As I've shared with you before, J didn't talk much at all until after he was 2. Now - he can talk...A LOT. Potty training and weaning are not developmental milestones (as far as something to be concerned about - at least at this point). Not to mention - potty training takes a long time in some kids. From start to finish, it took us almost a year to get J trained. And he still has accidents (albeit rarely) when he gets too busy doing something else. And all of my pointless rambling is to actually encourage you. Your kiddos are beautiful and wonderful INDIVIDUALS. You are wise to get that comparing thing under control now. :-) Love you!
--Jenny
Amen and Amen!!! Keep it up Mama:) You're doing a great job!
Lots of Love and Hugs to your sweeties,
Jhona
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